she had slowed to a crawl, could barely make it on our lagoon walks, and her already slim figure was fast shrinking. so i took her to the vet, which he revealed to me that she had a giant liver tumor. while he guessed that she wasn't in pain (yet), he gave her a shot, told me to go home to think about what another day is worth, and to come back next week to talk about quality of life. as much as i selfishly want to do everything and anything to keep her here with me, i know that is not realistic. I want her to have a happy ending, of love and comfort, and not to prolong any pain.
i spent the entire day with sasha. i took her to cardiff beach like we used to do so often. i could see the glimmer of excitement inside of her, a slow wag in her tail. she used to bound through the water, sprint in giant circles on the sand - but today she was pushed by the white water and kept looking up at me too tired to walk anymore. i brought her home and sat outside in the sunshine so she could roast herself in the grass as she loves to do. let my thoughts wander and tried to grasp the reality of everything that is happening all around me. i lay here on the ground with her wrapped up like a giant burrito in her yellow blanket, she loves to stare at me. i cannot even imagine what she is saying. her eyes kill me, tug at my already hurting heart.
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